W is for Waffles
by Shirokuri
Summary: Because what could possibly go wrong if you forced the eleven most problematic kids of the school to have a special breakfast together to "help them help each other's problems"? AU in the most overused setting ever: high school.


W is for Waffles (as in "pass me the waffles, no don't throw them at me I said 'pass'")

It was pretty much a given that if you gathered up the eleven most problematic kids of the school, forced them to have a special breakfast before school together to try and "help them help each other's problems", it was going to blow up rather spectacularly in the face of whichever idiot was stupid enough to not only suggest it but also to go through with it. In this case, the said idiot's name was Shanks, and he only got away with it because he was considered something of a problematic case among the teachers, and the principal was seriously getting annoyed at his repeated requests for the breakfast.

It went off on an awful start. For one thing, it was not a particularly bright idea to force eleven high school students to wake up before six thirty in the morning. The breakfast itself was supposed to start at six forty-five, but half of the people (read: Kid, Zoro, Law, Capone, Apoo, and even Shanks, of all people) didn't show up until seven, by which time Killer and Urouge had already managed to get into a fight that was broken up by Drake, who, by comparison, seemed like the sanest of the bunch. Bonney was pissed because the food hadn't arrived yet and made her fury known by getting into a fierce argument with Luffy about who could eat more food. Hawkins, meanwhile, sat off to the side shuffling and reshuffling his cards, but no matter how many times he read and reread them, the chances of the breakfast being a success stubbornly stayed at zero.

Law was the first of the latecomers to show up. He was in a sour mood, as evidenced by the absence of his usual laid-back grin. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to have spread, almost as if it were makeup that had been smeared. He didn't appreciate that comment from Kid, who had showed up almost immediately after him, and they would've destroyed quite a large chunk of school property if Shanks hadn't arrived in the nick of time. It was almost seven fifteen before everyone arrived and Shanks let them start eating, though Bonney and Luffy had already begun stealing food before then much to the dismay of the others, who really should've known better and brought their own food.

The breakfast was a disaster. Luffy and Bonney officially started their eating contest, much to the disgust of everyone else but especially to Capone, who absolutely detested bad manners. Shanks was purposefully looking the other way and attempting to initiate a conversation with Hawkins, because even he knew that trying to get Luffy and Bonney to eat normally was like trying to stop the Earth from rotating at more or less one thousand thirty-eight miles per hour at the Equator. Capone obviously knew this too because he was struggling to restrain his infamous temper, however badly, though he did have an expression on this face that looked like he was about to stab someone with a fork, repeating the offense that had gotten him labeled one of the eleven most problematic kids of the school and had landed him in that breakfast.

Close by, Killer and Urouge were arguing again for some reason, so Shanks forced Drake to sit between them in his first and only attempt to "help them help each other's problems". It was clear that the only result so far was the significant increase in Drake's blood pressure. Zoro was complaining that there was no alcohol, but for some reason no one seemed bothered by the fact that he was underage, and in the end someone finally gave him a glass of orange juice and told him that if he asked for beer one more time he'd get expelled from Grandline High School and every other school on the planet. Apoo added to the general din by cranking the sound on his iPod up to levels that were doubtlessly detrimental to the well-being of his ears, as Hawkins, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, swore that he could hear it from there.

The last straw for the poor breakfast came when Kid asked Law to pass him the waffles. Actually, what he said was "Give me the waffles, Law," with an added word between "the" and "waffles" that Shanks pretended he didn't hear, because even he wasn't keen on the idea of trying to give Kid a detention. Law refused to budge an inch and pulled his hat lower over his eyes. He calmly ate another piece of his pancake as a string of expletives issued from Kid's direction. Shanks tried to explain to Kid as patiently as he could that in order for people to do as he asked, he needed to ask politely. After much ado in which Kid seemed to choke every time he tried to ask nicely, he managed to strangle out "Pass me the waffles, Law", which actually wasn't much better due to his tone of voice, which suggested that multiple people would be hurt afterwards.

Law slid his hand under the plate of waffles closest to him, which someone had already buttered and put syrup on for some reason, and with one clean flick of his wrist, threw it at Kid. In a spectacular camera-worthy arc, the plate landed right in the middle of his face, the sticky syrup holding it in place in what would've been one of the most comedic pictures ever if it weren't for the fact that the one with waffles currently stuck to his face was none other than Eustass Kid. Everyone, with the exceptions of the two gluttons in the middle of their eating contest, immediately stopped chewing, and someone even dropped his fork. No one dared to breathe as the plate and the waffles slid slowly down Kid's face and dropped with muffled thumps onto the tablecloth. Law looked straight into his eyes and opened his mouth.

"You forgot to say 'please.'"

The silence was broken by Kid stomping his foot on the table and lunging for Law's throat, kicking over the table in the process and causing all of the remaining food that had not been eaten by Luffy or Bonney to fly at Capone, Killer, Drake, and Urouge. That was the last indignity Capone would endure, and at the snap of his fingers the room was invaded by twenty of his loyal "henchmen", as he called them, who proceeded to launch themselves into the fray that ensued the instant Kid tried to throttle Law. Zoro joined gleefully, dumping the glass of orange juice unceremoniously in someone's face while Killer and Urouge took the opportunity to continue their fight from where they had left off. Drake gave a sort of strangled cry of rage and went on a rampage, throwing whatever silverware, dish, or food he could get his hands on, thus proving there was a good reason why he was lumped with the other ten in the problematic group.

In the midst of the chaos, all sorts of people from the eleven's various groups of friends or henchmen, who, like Capone's gang, were all evidently on standby outside, came rushing in and an all-out food fight/fist fight broke out. Luffy and Bonney in particular were enraged not only because their competition had been cut short, but also because there was good food being wasted that they could've eaten, for heaven's sake. That also infuriated his cook friend, who alternated between kicking people in the face or other, more painful areas and flirting with the few girls who were present. Kid was trying to find Law, who he'd lost sight of when the members of Apoo's band had rushed in, and was throwing punches indiscriminately in an effort to clear a path around himself.

"ENOUGH!" All movement ceased for the second time that morning as everyone turned to face the angriest looking Shanks anyone had seen. "It's one thing if you want to get in a fight," he said in a low voice, "I'm fine with that. You people need to let off steam on people who won't get hurt as easily as normal people anyways." There were a few protests that they were "normal" people but they were silenced by one glare from the teacher. "But it's another thing entirely if you decide to waste food. Do you know how much Yasopp and Lucky wanted waffles? Uh, I mean, do you know how much I paid for it? Actually, I didn't pay for it but someone had to have. And that's not the point. I want each and every one of you to clean this mess up, and this room had better be sparkling by the time school starts, or I'll give out detentions to all of you. And I'll make sure it's with Mr. Sengoku, for all of you who think you can get away with this."

There was a mad scramble to clean up the room when Sengoku's name was mentioned, because while he was strict as a teacher, he was a monster when dealing with delinquents in detention, and especially had no patience for the eleven. There was something along the lines of a temporary truce as the guilty parties did their best to straighten up the room in five minutes, and Shanks being Shanks, he forgave them when they managed to accomplish it. The students drifted off to their first period classes in a rather anticlimactic end, though several tempers were still high and thoughts of murder were on several minds, namely Kid's, Luffy's, and Bonney's.

Later, when questioned, Shanks said that he was never, not in this life or the next, going to get the Eleven Supernova, as they were called, together for breakfast again. Nope, he was going to invite them to lunch next time, because if there weren't any waffles for them to throw, nothing could go wrong, right?


End file.
